Reflecting on 19 Years

Are you ever amazed at how God orchestrates things in your life? Are you ever just dumbfounded by how it all fits together?  Of course, we shouldn't be surprised considering He is the Master-planner and the One who has all our days already ordained.

Well, it seems that the theme recently for things that I have read and listened to has a lot to do with living and loving to the fullest.  Living each day, loving the people in our lives, with everything we have.  Living with the realization that life is short and that we are just pilgrims, passing through this world.  God has given me an amazing husband, four beautiful children to love, and each day passes by so quickly, that I don't want to miss a moment.  Life is not all about me.  It's not about us as a family.  It's about God, living for Him, serving Him while we are here on this earth, and preparing ourselves for the life to come.

Confession time...I have to be honest.  This time of year is always a very difficult one for me.  After spending amazing quality time together as a family during our summer vacation, the middle of August always comes with a dark storm cloud for me.  Rick is always back at school earlier than the kids, so I have to adjust to running things here alone.  It always feels that our summer holidays are cut short because of his early return to the office.  Yes, I feel ripped off...Crazy, I know.  (That's my pity-party moment.)  The kids still have two weeks off, so we hope to enjoy the time we have left, (without daddy around during the day.)  We'll keep daddy busy when he gets home from the office! ♥

I always treasure the extra time to read when we go on vacation, and this year I read through a series by Karen Kingsbury that I had read years ago, the "Firstborn" series.  I totally enjoyed them and was one again touched by these fictitious characters and the changes that go on in their lives.  God is at the centre of the story-line and the characters go through a spiritual journey.  Their struggles are not unlike struggles that I see all around me today and not unlike my own struggles. 

This summer Rick and I celebrated 19 years of marriage.  Comparatively speaking, it's not very long.  We are amazed by God's leading during these years, all the places we have had the pleasure of living, all the wonderful Christian people we have met and loved, and how He has been the cement keeping us together.  It isn't and hasn't always been easy.  In this sinful world, Satan would like nothing better than to destroy Christian marriages and see us compromise our standards and break down the hedges around our marriage.  I thank God for protecting us all these years, and I thank God for a man who loves Him first of all and me second.  I thank God for a man who has strong convictions, who is self-sacrificing, always willing to help me, forever encouraging me, and who loves and lives for Jesus. 

We have been blessed with Christian parents who are shining examples of what Christian marriage looks like.  We might not be able to leave a lot to our children when we are gone, but we do hope to accomplish one thing, and that is to live and love and model a strong Christian marriage for them.  We have always believed that to be one of the best gifts we could give our children.

Karen Kingsbury's books might be fiction, but God has gifted her with a wonderful ability to write.  I want to share something from the last book in the series where a mother writes a letter to her children containing "Ten Secrets to a Happy Marriage."  I think it's wonderful advice for anyone who is married.

1. God has you here to serve one another.  Love acted out is serving.
2. Women need respect and nurturing.  Love your wife so she knows you'd lay your life down for her.  Continue to date her and admire her.  Share a hobby--find something you can do to have fun together.
3. Laugh often.
4. Be patient.  Love crumbles quickly under the weight of unmet expectations.
5. Spend more time trying to fix yourself than your spouse.
6. Keep short accounts.  The Bible says, "Do not let the sun go down while you are angry." Make it a habit to forgive.
7. Determine up front that divorce is not an option.
8. Learn about love languages.  Not all people show love or receive it the same way.  You want a back rub and your spouse wants a clean kitchen.  The love languages are fairly simple: acts of service, time, physical touch, gifts, and words of affirmation.  Learn them.  Love is better received when it's in the language that person speaks.
9. Words of affirmation are a love language for all men.
10. Men are born to be leaders.  He cannot lead unless she gives him the confidence to do so.  If you love your husband, build him up.  Confident men do not seek love outside the home.
(from Karen Kingsbury's book, Forever)

Anniversaries are great times to reflect and evaluate how things are going in a marriage.  Every year I try to do just that and then ask God to help me see where I need to change things and improve.  I found this list a great spring-board.

As our summer comes to a close, I thank God for blessing me with the family that I have.  A new school year brings all kinds of emotions, opportunities, and even anxieties, so I am praying God will continue to be the captain of the "Schenk ship" and that this year will be one of great spiritual growth for Rick and myself and for all of our children.